As we gain work and life experience, it’s very natural to want to offer guidance and suggestions to others when we see an opportunity for improvement. Yet others may not want our advice – and instead prefer to solve their own problems and create positive outcomes in their work and their lives. If you put yourself in their shoes, you can usually see how well-meaning suggestions can often backfire.
“I’m too stressed to know where to start, and before I have a chance to decide, I get another urgent interruption – this is crazy – how does anyone get anything done?” Sarah was venting as she faced 600 emails, an afternoon filled with meetings, 5 incomplete performance reviews, at least 12 issues she had promised to review three weeks ago, and no less than 2 people hovering over her desk in any given moment for a signature or “quick” question.Sarah had a reputation for being organized, responsive, and calmly able to handle crises situations, but today she felt completely overwhelmed.
If you are uncomfortable asking for money, it may be partly because you aren’t sure how to show your value. Most people make the mistake of seeing their pay as an indication of how much the company values them personally, which turns the discussion of compensation into a painful assessment of their self-worth. But if you can think of “yourself” as separate from the value you provide your organization, it’s easier to take a realistic look at your work and present a solid case for a raise.
Recently I read an article pointing to research that men and women develop confidence differently, and this difference can actually hurt women in the workplace. I had a hard time being open to the possibility that something as important as confidence can be determined in part by gender, but the research is pretty compelling.