Over the past few months, I’ve been recording a series of conversations with my longtime friend and colleague Donna Blum. While she now works in real estate, one of her strengths is helping people navigate the organizing challenges that often accompany major life transitions—especially downsizing, moving, and deciding what to do with a lifetime of accumulated belongings.
One of the ideas Donna and I explored was a distinction that sounds simple but can make a big difference in practice: cleaning, decluttering, and organizing are three separate processes.
As we talked, I realized that the lessons she was sharing weren’t just about closets, garages, and kitchen counters. They mirrored many of the same challenges I see in personal growth and life transitions. Sometimes what feels overwhelming isn’t one big problem. It’s several different challenges tangled together.
Why Organizing Feels So Overwhelming
One of the reasons organizing feels so overwhelming is that most people are trying to do three different jobs at the same time without realizing it. They’re cleaning, decluttering, and organizing simultaneously—and those are actually three separate processes.
- Cleaning is straightforward: dusting, vacuuming, wiping surfaces.
- Decluttering is removing what clearly doesn’t belong or no longer serves a purpose.
- Organizing is something different entirely. Organizing is about creating functional systems so that you can find what you need, where you need it, when you need it.
That distinction matters more than it may seem. When everything gets lumped together under the vague category of “I need to get organized,” the task becomes emotionally heavy and difficult to begin. Suddenly you’re making hundreds of decisions all at once.
What should stay? What should go? Where does this belong? Should I clean this first? Do I still need this? What if I regret getting rid of it? No wonder people feel exhausted before they even start.
The Hidden Cost of Clutter
Years ago, Donna helped me organize my home office, and I was surprised by how immediate the impact was. I felt calmer. Clearer. More focused. I stopped wasting energy searching for things or mentally tracking unfinished piles. My productivity increased dramatically, but more importantly, the constant background noise in my head quieted down.
That’s because clutter affects more than our physical environment. Disorganization creates visual interruptions, increases decision fatigue, and leaves our brains trying to keep track of countless unfinished details. We often think we’re reacting to the mess itself, but we’re also reacting to the mental friction attached to it. What surprised me most was realizing that the relief wasn’t just practical. It was emotional. The space felt lighter, and so did I.
Start Small and Build Momentum
Another insight Donna shared is that organizing tends to fail when people approach it as one massive transformation project. Most people look at the entire house and immediately think, “this is too much.” That reaction makes perfect sense. The brain is trying to calculate the full scope of the project all at once.
A more effective approach is to focus on momentum rather than completion. Start with one visible and contained space. Not overwhelming spaces like the garage, attic, or boxes of family memorabilia that will take hours and not give you the satisfaction of seeing progress.
Start somewhere you see and use regularly, but keep it small and manageable—a kitchen counter, a bookshelf, a bathroom cabinet, or even a single drawer. The goal is to create a sense of movement and accomplishment that makes the next small step feel easier.
Quick wins matter because they change your relationship with the process. Once you experience one area feeling lighter, more functional, and easier to maintain, the work stops feeling so abstract. You begin to trust that your efforts are making a real difference.
When Decluttering Gets Emotional
One of the most helpful ideas from our conversation was the recognition that not every decision needs to be made immediately. Some decisions are easy. Others carry emotional weight. Items that represent relationships, memories, identities, hopes, disappointments, or chapters of life that we’re not quite ready to release, can easily stall us mid-stride.
When people get stuck on those items, the entire organizing process often comes to a halt. Donna recommends creating temporary categories as you work: a donate box, a trash bag, an “elsewhere” basket, and a sell pile. And sometimes a holding box for things you’re genuinely not ready to decide about yet.
I love this idea because hesitation doesn’t necessarily mean you’re failing. Often it means there’s something deeper happening beneath the surface. You don’t need to force clarity before you’re ready. Donna suggests putting a box of these “unable to decide” items away in the corner of the garage for a year and see if you ever go back to it. I would take that one step further, and get some clarity on what is keeping you stuck. For example, let’s say you have a lot of gifts from people you love that you won’t use but don’t want to admit that you’ve let go of. In this case the real issue is your relationship, not the item. Once you’ve figured out how to have the conversation that starts with “where is that vase I gave you” your decision will get easier.
Meanwhile, maintaining forward momentum is more important than stopping to resolve these kinds of dilemmas. Start with getting rid of what you can make easy decisions on, and work through the more emotional decisions as you get the clarity you need and have had a taste of what it feels like to have the rest of the clutter gone.
Your Environment Reflects Your Life
As our conversation continued, I found myself reflecting on something deeper.
The spaces that nourish me most aren’t necessarily the spaces that would appear in a magazine. They’re the spaces that feel authentic, welcoming, and true to who I am.
When my environment is cluttered, unfinished, or filled with things that don’t belong, I often experience a similar feeling internally. My attention feels scattered. My thinking feels less clear.
But when a space reflects my values, priorities, personality, and the life I’m intentionally creating, something shifts. I feel calmer. More focused. More grounded. More myself. As a coach, I’ve noticed a similar pattern in personal growth. We often become overwhelmed when we try to change everything at once. Growth usually happens the same way organizing does: one small decision at a time, one area at a time, one meaningful shift at a time.
In both cases, we’re creating alignment. We’re letting go of what no longer fits and making room for what does. Organization creates the foundation, but what we’re really seeking is a space that feels like home.
The Real Goal Isn’t Perfection
People often think organizing is about appearance. In my experience, it’s about something much more meaningful: reducing friction, creating clarity, and supporting focus. And most of all, building an environment that helps you live the life you want to live.
A well-organized space doesn’t just make things easier to find. It reduces the number of loose ends your brain is trying to manage. It creates room to think, breathe, and be present.
If you’re starting this process yourself, begin smaller than you think you should:
- Choose one contained area.
- Set a timer.
- Focus on decluttering first.
- And pay attention not only to what changes in the room, but also to what changes inside you.
You may discover, as I have, that organizing isn’t so much about the space itself. It’s more about creating an environment that reflects what matters most.
