Saddened businesswoman sitting in office with dissatisfied male colleague

Feedback Unscripted 3 of 9

In honor of our Learning Cycle Topic of Giving Effective Feedback, my friend and colleague, Angela Fucci, agreed to spend some time on zoom with me role-playing “good” and “bad” attempts at handling a variety of common feedback situations.   We laughed, stumbling through some of the awkward conversations, and then discussed our key take-aways.

Coaching a Manager Who Talks Too Much

Often in the name of teaching, a manager will spend a lot of time talking AT the team, without realizing that not getting them interacting is causing them to disengage and probably not even remember most of what was said. I’ve also seen managers getting caught up in their own ideas and taking a lot of extra time talking in meetings without realizing that the team has lost interest.

If you want to persuade someone to talk less and listen more, here are some tips:


1. DO try to understand what is behind the extra talking. Do they believe they need to explain an idea in great detail in order to teach the concept, or are they simply rambling because they are caught up in their own thoughts?

2. DON’T assume that they are aware of how their talking impacts others. If you can find an example where they have been in a situation with someone else doing all the talking, this might be a better way to help them understand the impact.

3. REMEMBER that listening well is one of the most important and difficult leadership skills to develop.  Most people who believe they are good listeners are worse at it than those who realize they need work.  The goal here isn’t to focus on the negative impact of talking so much as to stretch and build the skills of listening and facilitating.

In the video below, Angela and I role play a situation where a manager is talking too much in meetings she leads. We practice a “bad” and “better” feedback example, and then discuss the differences. The video runs approximately 10 minutes. Enjoy!



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